While many of the behaviors that occur with dementia can be challenging, some of them can also be hurtful. The altered reality of dementia sufferers can cause them to think things that are true. This can lead to them making accusations against caregivers and other people they are close to. They may accuse family members of things like stealing or accuse a spouse of cheating. Though it’s hard to hear such accusations, knowing how to deal with them can make them a little easier. Below are some tips for handling false accusations made by a senior with dementia.
Remember the Accusation is a Symptom and Not Personal
When someone is saying you did something that you didn’t, it can be hard to not let it affect you. Keep in mind that the accusation is a symptom and isn’t personal. Try not to respond negatively to what they say. Instead, stay calm and respond to the emotions that may be causing the accusation. Reassure them and let them know you care about them.
Avoid Arguing
Arguing with a person who has dementia won’t do any good. They are firmly rooted in their reality, which isn’t the same as yours. Because dementia affects their ability to reason, all your attempts at convincing them won’t work. You’ll only make them even more upset. Instead, let them talk and tell you what they think is going on. Acknowledge their concerns and reassure them. This can calm them by making them feel like you’ve heard and understood them.
Try Using Humor
Sometimes no other tactics work. When that happens, using humor may diffuse the situation. Make a self-deprecating joke and tell the person you’re lucky they put up with you. Be cautious in using this technique since using it at the wrong time could make the person feel like you’re making fun of them or not taking their concerns seriously.
Offer a Distraction
People with dementia can become fixated on the false accusation and obsess over it. Tell them you’ve heard the accusation, then offer some kind of activity to distract them. Pick something you know they enjoy, like doing a puzzle or watching a favorite television show. You might also offer them their favorite snack.
Elderly care agencies are often able to match their clients with the skills and experiences of their staff members. This means that the elderly care provider assigned to your aging relative probably has had some experience in caring with seniors who have dementia, making them adept at dealing with difficult behaviors. Your aging relative’s elderly care provider will know how to deal with false accusations as well as other challenging behaviors, so you can be certain the older adult is safe and comfortable.
